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  • Writer's pictureLinda Milun

Reality of Coaching

Updated: Feb 12, 2021


Coaching is an art in itself, that can be used in so many ways. And every coach who really takes his/her job serious will get some professional training and seeks continously development.

That is important, so that the client gets the best coaching experience.

Professional coaching is filled with brilliant tools and deep understanding of active listening.

e.g. with my silence I can help people find their words. With mirroring and empathy, I can make them feel heard and understood! With reflecting back to them, they suddenly have this „WOW“-Moment, because they realized what they actually think, feel, and want and what that means for their respective situation! It is amazing how much we can make people feel valued and important by "just" being with them, hearing them and supporting them in their progress.

Being present

There is a story i once heard, I dont remember where though. That story represents the importance of being present! The story was roughly as follows: A rabbi walked through a refugee camp. Many aid workers were busy attending to wounds or feeding people. Busy in their specific tasks, which were mostly focused on the physical need of the people. But the rabbi simply walked through the camp. Someone asked: "I see you walking up and done here throughout the camp. What are you actually doing?". He answered: "I am practicing the ministry of being."

By that, he meant, that he is visible to the refugees. They see that he is aware of them and in my understanding, that he is "available". That they are not alone and that there IS hope. Of course we can always argue, that he should have approached people, but to be honest, from my eperience people don't always want to be approached. People want to have the freedom to choose.

Difference of Coaching and Consulting

There is a significant difference between coaching and consulting. As i explained before: In coaching there is no leading or "telling the client what to do". If specifically asked the coach can give suggestions, but in general the "rule" is, that the coach helps through specific tools, such as open questions, the client to gain self-realisation and ownership of their life.

In consulting on the other hand the consultant gives adivce, opionions, professional experitse and knowledge about specific areas or topics to the client. In my practice I use depending on the agreement with the client both coaching and consulting. But I am always aware of it. By that I mean, that I know if I am coaching or consulting. And it depends on my client. It should not depend on my personal agenda.

Sadly to often I saw people present themselves as coaches, but they really were acting as consultants, counselors or mentors. Even than when it was uncalled for or unwanted. It is a danger if we as coaches act in such roles, if our clients did not specifically desire us to do so. It is a form of abuse of the role that we are taking.

Important is that no coach should should place his/her world view, expectations and standards on the client. The client has to live his/her own life and find peace about it. And that is what a coach is there for.

Impact of coaching

Coaching is an essential tool to be more clear with who you are, who you want to be, what your aims are, what your purpose is, what your passion is, etc.

Through coaching you will be able to discover things that you did not realize before or be more sure of things you already had on your mind! Everything about coaching happens in and around the client. So you learn to take ownership of your decisions, actions, feelings, thoughts, futures and so on. Without your willingness and ambition, you will stay where you are.

Therefore, the coach is merely a supportive role in a great act so that the leading role (=the client) can be the best as it can be! The center stage of coaching belongs to the client!

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